Puritanical psychosis

I wish the Kuwait edition of the Daily Star published an online edition, because it would have helped me illustrate the new heights of absurdity that some of these so called 'religion scholars' have reached. These guys must wake up and go "Gee, I wonder how my warped psyche can stir a media frenzy this morning?" Dr Hassan, a local religious scholar, needs to lay of the LSD, because he recently proclaimed it un-Islamic for a man and wife to engage in sexual relations while naked! If the sky's the limit when it comes to absurdity, then this loon is in freakin' orbit. I suppose it is safe to assume that the good doctor and his spouse have sex in level 3 bio-hazard suits with blindfolds on (what kind of sick fantasy is that?). As outraged as I was by his edict, Nabil Al-Fadhil's subsequent column proved a fitting rebuttal (although his choice of words left me rather bemused). Mr Al-Fadhil declared sexual intercourse to be God's greatest gift to man and that married couples should engage in sex in any manner that God permits (a rap on the knuckles for all you shacked up, un-married couples currently living out your necrophilic fantasies!). He adds that having sex while fully clothed was potentially hazardous and could even cause a heart attack. While I was inclined to agree with Mr Al-Fadhil, I couldnt help but ponder certain situations which would justify Dr Hassan's stance. For example, imagine being married to Rosie O' Donnell (most of us would need several shots of Bacardi 151 to kick-start such a thought process). Having that woman disrobe (usually a precursor to sex) would be the equivalent of....holy shit...15 minutes have passed and I cannot conjure a suitable analogy. Perhaps there is no medical emergency quite as grim as Rosie O' Donnell gettin nekkid! Maybe Dr Hassan does have a point afterall? So, if you are Rosie O' Donnell's husband (or wife...wasn't she lesbian at one point?), then hear this - your already traumatized being cannot possibly survive further shock, so please, keep her clothed at all times! On the other hand, this is one of those few instances when abstinance might actually grow the relationship!

For those Texas fans wishing they were in Pasadena this year but found themselves short on tickets, check out Mukund Rajan's blog for advice on the matter (link in the sidebar....yes I am still struggling with basic html!). See you in Tempe next year Mukund!

Oh and all you Aggies (Gov. Rick Perry included) - we're number one baby!